We had started out as office mates. She was different than I....shorter, younger, smarter. I didn't want to be her friend. I simply wanted a degree so I could teach at the university. Quite honestly, I wanted to avoid any personal intimate friendships because they might just slow down my progress toward my goal of graduation.
But eventually she became my teaching partner for a class, so I had to have the conversations. I had to share with her and walk with her to/from class. I found out we were more similar than I had thought. She had a little boy, a husband, and the same goals as I. Actually, she was pregnant! What fun to walk through this new journey of life with her over the course of the upcoming semester.
As she walked out the door, excited to meet her husband and find out the sex of their new baby, I wished her well and reminded her to call me immediately after the ultrasound. I went about my day, but didn't hear anything. I tried calling, but there was no answer. Hmm...they must be shopping for new baby clothes. I'll catch up with her later tonight. I can't wait to hear how it went!
"INCOMPATIBLE WITH LIFE"
The words jumped off my computer screen through the short email bearing my friend's signature. What does this mean? She won't live? How do they know? What do these doctors know anyway? Maybe they are wrong. God can heal. God can cure. God can perform a miracle.
Tonight as I drove the country roads and saw the majestic pink sky, I was reminded of this faith in the first moments I had heard the news about baby Chloe. Tonight, though, my faith was waivering. Tonight I had witnessed the confusion of life. Tonight I had grappled with God's plans. Tonight I had knelt next to the infant size coffin, crying out to my Lord for my new friend, as my tears dropped to baby Chloe's coffin. Tonight, I needed a reminder that even when the miracle doesn't come, God is still God!
The pink sky quietly whispered that reminder...I am here. She is with me. I am holding her in my loving arms.
Today, Lord, as I again feel the pain of another friend who has had to release her infant son into your arms, I cry out to you. Today, Lord, I pray for Amanda and her mother, Madonna, and I thank you for the brief life of little Jackson. Today, Lord, I ask that you whisper in their ear that you are here. I pray that you whisper in the ear of anyone who needs to hear...."I AM HERE. I AM YOUR GOD."
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone"
Pslamm 62:5a
perfect. so perfectly said.
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I cherish this...and our unlikely friendship! :) Love you my taller, older, and definitely smarter friend! Or shall we say wiser? Eh...you're the best either way!
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