Helicopters

I remember playing sports when I was little. We played little league softball with all the other girls in town. We would grab our gloves and a baseball hat and run down to the field. We spent hours there with our coaches until our parents showed up just before the first pitch.

I remember seeing my mom sit on the bleachers with the other moms, talking about local small town news, sharing new recipes, not really paying much attention to the game at hand. I don't ever remember her bringing me a gatorade. I don't remember her yelling at me to make a good throw or to widen my stance or to shake off a bad swing. She was more interested in her friends than in my play.

And at the end of the game, she would say, "Did you have fun?"

You see, it's not that my mom and dad didn't care, it's just that they didn't hover. They had perspective. They knew that this was simply little league baseball. No contracts coming out of it. No agents lurking by the dugout. Simply small town fun on a summer evening.

Something has changed. Somewhere along the line, parents have begun to hover. As much as I try not to fall into the societal trap, I am guilty as well. I carry my son's bag for him. I buy him a Gatorade for every game. I ask if he needs sunflower seeds or Big League Chew bubble gum. I try not to hover, but the pull is great.

It saddens me. It brings pressure to our kids. It causes dissention among parents when someone feels left out. Parent behavior looks bad.

But today, today I read a story in the Bible of a mother who struggled with the same behavior.

She was one of the first helicopter parents....hovering where she ought not go.

And guess what...it brought horrible results to her family!

God had told Rebekah that her second born twin would receive the blessing...

"To Rebecca, also, a promise was made that took priority over genetics. When she became pregnant by our one-of-a-kind ancestor, Isaac, and her babies were still innocent in the womb—incapable of good or bad—she received a special assurance from God. What God did in this case made it perfectly plain that his purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don't do, but a sure thing determined by his decision, flowing steadily from his initiative. God told Rebecca, "The firstborn of your twins will take second place." 

Romans 9:10-13

But she didn't stand on that promise.
She hovered...

You see Rebekah, when she didn't see things going as she had hoped for her son Jacob, decided to take matters into her own hands.

She devised a plan.
She schemed.
She lured him in.
She couldn't let a boy be a boy and let the matter go.

Rebekah went as far as to say to her son, who at this point in the scheme was beginning to get nervous, "Let the curse fall on me!"

And, it did!

You see, my sisters, while God wants  us to protect our children, He never intended for us to hover over them. He never intended for us to sin in order to provide a perfect world for them. God has a well ordained plan for their lives.

So...back to baseball, or basketball, or music, or dance...or simply life in our own home...

God does not want us to live life for our children, protecting them at all costs, hovering to make sure their every need is met.

Failure produces perseverence.
Defeat produces opportunities for character.
Lack produces creativity of resources.
Tears can produce joy out of the sorrow.

Dear Lord, Guide me as I parent my children. Guide my words. Let every word, every action, every thought be reflective of you God. Help me go to you in times when I am uncertain of outcomes. Help me not to simply jump in and try to solve things as Rebekah did. Help me to see that sorrow and pain and loss can build character in my children. Help me to not hover!