Today was a good day.
Zach stopped by to spend the night with us so the kids were super excited.
Luke is enjoying time with his Nana.
I got a few minutes to catch up with a close friend.
Lucy and I planted some flowers together (Ok, I planted, she yelled "AmmA" repeatedly because she didn't want to step across the extension cord Doug has running from the fountain to the basement) Yes, that topic makes for an entirely different blog post!
At any rate, today was a good day.
By evening though, I was tired. I was sitting on the couch, almost had Lucy to sleep and the kids came barreling in, getting her all wound up. Kobe smelled because he had played baseball and tennis ball and hadn't showered. Faith smelled because she had played outside rollerblading and going through the sprinkler. And they were clamoring all over me trying to get a touch of their little sister.
I needed to get out.
I put on my running shoes and told Doug I would be back after a short jog.
You see, it's what I do. When the feeling of grief or being overwhelmed starts to settle in, I take off for a quiet run through the cemetery a few blocks from our house.
But my dad just died. And I haven't run through the cemetery since. It doesn't really make sense because my dad was cremated, so we didn't even go to a cemetery for his service. But, I just hadn't been able to go on my normal route yet.
But, tonight I did. I headed out, ipod in hand, shoes laced up, heart already racing at the thought of having 20 minutes alone with my thoughts.
And the run was good. It felt right. Until I hit the veterans memorial at the top of the hill. The tears started to well up. I could feel the wave coming over the horizon. The wave of grief, of self-pity, of being so overwhelmed you feel like you are drowning.
But then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.
A red cardinal.
Sitting on a headstone.
And there it sat until I had passed by.
And then, as quickly as it came, it flew away.
You see, when my dad was in his last hours of life, his sister shared some special time alone with him and she mentioned to him that when he got to heaven he should send her a red cardinal as a sign. Well, my family sort of laughed about this. But since that day, I have seen more red cardinals (or at least noticed them) more than any other bird!
And that red cardinal was just what I needed.
It stopped the wave in its track.
No grief.
No sorrow.
No tears.
Not today.
You see, my dad, a born-again follower of Jesus Christ, is sitting with HIM right now. He is with a multitude of angels. He is witnessing the river of life, the streets of gold, no tears, no death, no sorrow. He is with people of every tribe and every nation! He is with our LORD!
And then tonight, as I was reading Beth Moore's blog, she was writing about leaving her church family of many years to go with her daughter and son-in-law to plant a new church. Her heart was grieving the loss of the church family she had spent so much time with, but she ended with these words:
As I folded up clothes this morning and put them in a bag and made a plan to run by Walmart, I thought to myself, “Well, old girl, there’s not a lot of time to sit around and mourn. Hop up and get on this love train. There’s a city to serve.”
There's a city to serve my sisters!
A city to serve!
We don't have time for mourning.
We don't have time for self-pity, or doubt, or frustration.
There's a city to serve sisters!
Oh Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for this breath you have given me. I thank you for being in every single detail of my life. I thank you for the reminder that time is short, that people are in need, that you have equipped me to do something...even something as small as sharing a plate of cookies and a bible verse...Lord...help me to serve your city! Help me to see past myself, to see the needs of others, so that they might see YOU in me!!!
